I used to be afraid to make mistakes

Out of fear of looking stupid, being laughed at, not feeling good enough, getting judged

Wanting to be good at everything straight away

Even avoid some shit just in case it didn’t work out

Get defensive if I felt like I was being judged or criticised

Funnily enough this never happened until I left the military which is weird

Before that it was always an attitude of fuck it let’s give it a go

Maybe because there was guidance from people who had been there before and speaking from experience with feedback and valuable criticism

Valuable criticism from a place of experience that will help me perform better and be better ……… welcomed

Criticism from the sidelines, non experience, from a judgemental place (sometimes disguised as wanting to be helpful) ……….. go fuck your self.

It’s not criticism itself but the intension behind it.

A genuine place of care and lifting people up, wanting to see them shine

Or judgemental to put people down, even if you’re not aware that’s what you’re doing

I was harsh on myself and used to beat myself up For making mistakes

You know the drill, talking to yourself like you wouldn’t dare talk to another person in that way

Everyone had an opinion about who you are, what you’re doing, how your doing it

That’s not a bad thing and you can’t stop people having options

We are entitled to them

But you’re also entitled to not give a fuck about them

To be able to cherry pick the ones that are helpful

And ignore the unsolicited advice

Especially from those with no background or experience, wisdom that would be of value to you

I became quite sensitive to judgements and opinions which felt quite new to me

Why are you so concerned in what I’m doing with my life, what direction I’m going in

Shouldn’t you be focused on your own

Seemed like there was always an opinion waiting when choices were made

I tend not to interfere with what others do

If you want to tell me something, awesome I’m all ears

If you ask for advice on something, sure but it will be more like guiding you to your own decision and not telling you what to do

I found it weird when people would ask do you not care what people think

And on top of that day you should care what people think

Why ??‍♂️

How the fuck is that helpful when you’re trying to do something different if you’re worried what people think of you all the fucking time

Truth be told it’s one of those things that holds us back not only from being fully who the fuck we really are but doing what we want to do

Taking a sharp handbrake turn skidding off the nicely laid out path onto the unknown road of possibility

Where you will very likely make mistakes, maybe lots of them

Just lessons people

Just lessons

It’s not to say you should never listen to people, that’s crazy talk

But knowing and trusting yourself in what and who you choose to listen to

Otherwise you will just drown in all the fucking noise

I think that’s where I got lost and confused

Coming from a background of living in a small environment on ship with people all on pretty much the same mission, there is understanding, empathy, trust

To an environment where people think they get to have a say in who you are or what you do

They don’t

Your life

Your choice

No one else is living it for you

It’s solely upto you

To handbrake turn off path may seem risky, careless, rebellious, misunderstood

Good

You do realise that you don’t live forever right

Your time is finite

Not guaranteed

Not even a day

But binding yourself to fear of what people might think, making mistakes, fucking something up, failing, looking stupid, being laughed at

Is self torture

Your life

Your choice

Opinions are like arseholes

Everyone’s got one

Maybe start to listen to yourself a little more

Seek guidance when necessary from those experienced in what you want, where you’re headed

Not from those sitting on the sidelines all polished and shiny with no bruises or scars

Those that say ‘this is what I would have done’

But never actually will

Make mistakes, fuck things up, take the lessons, don’t be such an arsehole to yourself when you do

Thank you next

Your death bed can either be filled with regret or filled with self appreciation for stepping out and doing something different

For taking a risk, for taking a chance and create something that comes from deep inside yourself

Not from looking around at what other people are doing

Fuck that shit

We are all not the same

You’re not a fucking clone

Everyone has uniqueness in them so stop trying to fucking blend in and hide in the crowd

That serves no one, especially you

You’ve got shit to offer that no one else can

No one has your uniqueness, experiences, expression

That’s what makes you who you are

Not what others think, not their opinons, judgements

Find the courage to fuck shit up

So when you are lying on that death bed

It’s not filled with regret when you look at what could have been

But with pride and appreciation that you did your thing regardless of outcomes

Because it’s not the outcomes that’s the prize it’s what you discover about yourself along the way, that’s the game

And it takes courage to go do that shit