I used to be afraid to make mistakes
Out of fear of looking stupid, being laughed at, not feeling good enough, getting judged
Wanting to be good at everything straight away
Even avoid some shit just in case it didn’t work out
Get defensive if I felt like I was being judged or criticised
Funnily enough this never happened until I left the military which is weird
Before that it was always an attitude of fuck it let’s give it a go
Maybe because there was guidance from people who had been there before and speaking from experience with feedback and valuable criticism
Valuable criticism from a place of experience that will help me perform better and be better ……… welcomed
Criticism from the sidelines, non experience, from a judgemental place (sometimes disguised as wanting to be helpful) ……….. go fuck your self.
It’s not criticism itself but the intension behind it.
A genuine place of care and lifting people up, wanting to see them shine
Or judgemental to put people down, even if you’re not aware that’s what you’re doing
I was harsh on myself and used to beat myself up For making mistakes
You know the drill, talking to yourself like you wouldn’t dare talk to another person in that way
Everyone had an opinion about who you are, what you’re doing, how your doing it
That’s not a bad thing and you can’t stop people having options
We are entitled to them
But you’re also entitled to not give a fuck about them
To be able to cherry pick the ones that are helpful
And ignore the unsolicited advice
Especially from those with no background or experience, wisdom that would be of value to you
I became quite sensitive to judgements and opinions which felt quite new to me
Why are you so concerned in what I’m doing with my life, what direction I’m going in
Shouldn’t you be focused on your own
Seemed like there was always an opinion waiting when choices were made
I tend not to interfere with what others do
If you want to tell me something, awesome I’m all ears
If you ask for advice on something, sure but it will be more like guiding you to your own decision and not telling you what to do
I found it weird when people would ask do you not care what people think
And on top of that day you should care what people think
Why ??♂️
How the fuck is that helpful when you’re trying to do something different if you’re worried what people think of you all the fucking time
Truth be told it’s one of those things that holds us back not only from being fully who the fuck we really are but doing what we want to do
Taking a sharp handbrake turn skidding off the nicely laid out path onto the unknown road of possibility
Where you will very likely make mistakes, maybe lots of them
Just lessons people
Just lessons
It’s not to say you should never listen to people, that’s crazy talk
But knowing and trusting yourself in what and who you choose to listen to
Otherwise you will just drown in all the fucking noise
I think that’s where I got lost and confused
Coming from a background of living in a small environment on ship with people all on pretty much the same mission, there is understanding, empathy, trust
To an environment where people think they get to have a say in who you are or what you do
They don’t
Your life
Your choice
No one else is living it for you
It’s solely upto you
To handbrake turn off path may seem risky, careless, rebellious, misunderstood
Good
You do realise that you don’t live forever right
Your time is finite
Not guaranteed
Not even a day
But binding yourself to fear of what people might think, making mistakes, fucking something up, failing, looking stupid, being laughed at
Is self torture
Your life
Your choice
Opinions are like arseholes
Everyone’s got one
Maybe start to listen to yourself a little more
Seek guidance when necessary from those experienced in what you want, where you’re headed
Not from those sitting on the sidelines all polished and shiny with no bruises or scars
Those that say ‘this is what I would have done’
But never actually will
Make mistakes, fuck things up, take the lessons, don’t be such an arsehole to yourself when you do
Thank you next
Your death bed can either be filled with regret or filled with self appreciation for stepping out and doing something different
For taking a risk, for taking a chance and create something that comes from deep inside yourself
Not from looking around at what other people are doing
Fuck that shit
We are all not the same
You’re not a fucking clone
Everyone has uniqueness in them so stop trying to fucking blend in and hide in the crowd
That serves no one, especially you
You’ve got shit to offer that no one else can
No one has your uniqueness, experiences, expression
That’s what makes you who you are
Not what others think, not their opinons, judgements
Find the courage to fuck shit up
So when you are lying on that death bed
It’s not filled with regret when you look at what could have been
But with pride and appreciation that you did your thing regardless of outcomes
Because it’s not the outcomes that’s the prize it’s what you discover about yourself along the way, that’s the game
And it takes courage to go do that shit