Lack of purpose and direction is like death to man.
 
But extreme right, well ….. that’s just my feeling.
 
I first realised this as a 16 year old skinny little rat faced disruptive, cheeky gobby trouble maker.
 
Without knowing until years later that I was in fact searching for purpose and direction and that is what I see now as probably the biggest thing I was missing.
 
As a young man i didn’t have what I would call a positive male role model around to direct me.
 
Which I believe is paramount for any young mans development.
 
Dad that lived in another country that would just ask if I was shagging yet.
 
2 older brothers that were only a few years older than me so what the Fuck did they know.  they just enjoyed putting me head first in a sleeping bag and rolling me down the stairs 
 
I mean, I joined the Navy because I watched under siege and wanted to be Casey Ryback, the special forces Chef that fucked shit up. Lol
 
That was really the first role model I remember seeing and thinking, I wanna be like him, INSPIRED.
 
But I do have a very cool Mum who help steer me the right way.
 
I think deep down she was just happy to get one of us out of the house already 
 
I do remember when leaving school she said to me that even though I wanted to join the Navy.
 
I had to do something in the mean time while I was going through the process and not just bum around at home.
 
I was NOT a fan of school at all, I didn’t go much, never really did homework, got thrown out of class a lot etc.
 
Academics was just not for me.
 
BUT I did love cooking, probably the only subject I enjoyed so I went to college to train as a Chef while I waited for the Navy process.
 
Some good direction from Mum again.
 
A few months later after some interviews and tests, I got home from college and mum
said the Navy had rang and that I could join in January (it was November then).
 
This was now my decision to make. Stay at college or go off on an unknown adventure.
 
Wasn’t really that hard if I’m honest, fucking hated college too .
 
So that’s what I did, I went and a got what I was looking for.
 
I felt purpose, I felt I had direction.
 
And there was a shit tonne of male role models around that I got to learn off. Some more so than others granted lol.
 
I don’t call seeing a senior passed out drunk with shit, piss and sick all over him a positive role model. 
 
But looking back that was exactly what I was looking for and exactly what I needed as a directionless misguided youngster.
 
Which you could say was like a lot of young men at that age.
 
However, this isn’t just for young men.
 
Grown ass men have this too.
 
I experienced this again after leaving several years ago.
 
Not feeling like you have a purpose or direction or value in the world fucking sucks for a man.
 
It is one of; if not the most important aspects of being a man.
 
Also why I feel a lot of men struggle when they leave service.
 
It fucking sucks to feel that way, having the contrast of being of service, contributing, doing purposeful work, mentoring juniors like you were mentored as a junior. Passing down your knowledge and wisdom…… like don’t get caught shagging in the bakery, or don’t pass out drunk in a hotel bar toilet in Dubai, or don’t get caught naked in the ships sauna with a girl. All very valuable life lessons to pass along.
 
Then that feeling of being lost, disconnected, not belonging, no purpose, direction, value, questioning your very identity and worth but not actually knowing that’s what’s happening.
 
You just feel like shit inside and hide it extremely well, coz you think you’re crazy and no one would understand it gets it.
 
Is a horrible fucking feeling, especially if you’ve had a place and deep feeling of purpose for many years.
 
But it sucks even more to not go searching for purpose and direction again or at all. To find meaning again when you feel worthless.
 
To literally feel your essence of a man had been taken away away.
 
To have role models, influences, mentors to learn and get guidance from to help us find our direction again.
 
Men need other men is kinda m point.
 
But men of purpose and direction.
 
Because let’s be honest, not all men have that.
 
But personally I feel it’s essential to have meaning, purpose and direction as man.
 
I’ve experienced that in wonderful ways.
 
I’ve also lost it and felt the very essence of myself disappear.
 
It’s way worth the work to figuring that shit out, wether young or old it doesn’t fucking matter.
 
Meaning, Purpose, Direction.
 
Do you know what yours is ?